My Eighteenth Post.
I think I’m fed up with this life…
… And some of the people in it.
I wake up to drive an hour, to work a job that only recognizes imperfections, in order to get money to pay bills that magically keep stacking up on me.
Nothing is going right.
Nothing is going as planned.
It’s affecting my mood. I’ve been a complete asshole all day today. I’ve made plans to be an asshole in the future. To be perfectly honest…
… I find it hilarious.
I’ve plotted my revenge against that girl.
The details of this plan… The execution… I’ve taken them all into account. I think I might actually go through with this. For some reason, I don’t give a fuck who I hurt in the process.
No more warning shots.
No more taking this shit laying down.
I’m aiming for the throat with this new found rage.
The only thing I’m worried about… is her.
I should have mapped this out earlier… She’s way too sweet to be mixed up in all of this… I refuse to let her be the rebound. That’s a job for someone else… She deserves my all, but I don’t think I can give her that. Not right now… Probably not anytime soon.
I told her, “My instincts sometimes lead me astray, but if it’s one thing that I know for a fact, it’s that they most often never lie about my true feelings. My instincts tell me that if you get involved with me, you’re only setting yourself up to get hurt.”
Even you know this.
I don’t know where all this anger sprang from… Like I said, maybe I’m just fed up…
I’ve gone from Adamant Protector to Emotional Killer in one fell swoop.
From relaxed, carefree being, to strained, tense, a man with a mission.
The worst part is… I’m determined… And I believe that I can do it.
Nothing, short of a well-timed epiphany, is going to stop me.
Nothing.
I’m gonna watch every bit of this life burn.
